The Crime Trade: by Simon Kernick

Author:Simon Kernick [Kernick, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Mystery, Action & Adventure, Thrillers & Suspense, Crime, Suspense, Crime Fiction, Thrillers, Thriller & Suspense, Thriller, Literature & Fiction, Mystery; Thriller & Suspense
Amazon: B003M5IKPW
Publisher: Transworld Digital
Published: 2010-05-13T12:00:00+00:00

17

The first time Stegs Jenner ever clapped eyes on Tino ‘Ten Inch’ Movali was on the porn film Ass Lovers in London. Stegs hadn’t wanted to admit it to Murk when they’d spoken, but nowadays he was something of a porn aficionado, particularly since the missus had concluded, some five years into their relationship, that sex (at least with Stegs) was only really satisfactory if the end result was pregnancy, thereby relegating it to a couple of times a month, with him on top doing all the work, whenever the moon or whatever was in the right position, and rendering it completely redundant when she’d finally got up the duff. As a result, porn films had become an integral part of Stegs’s solo sex life, to be watched whenever those rare moments occurred when the missus and Luke decamped from the house.

One such occasion had been a couple of months earlier when she’d gone off to see her parents in Colchester for the weekend, taking Luke with her. On the Saturday night Stegs had settled down to watch Ass Lovers, a purchase from a porn shop on the Charing Cross Road, with a takeaway ruby and a hefty supply of canned Stella. What passed for the plot was as follows. An individual, known only as ‘Ass Lover’, appeared to be walking round London with a video camera, filming passers-by, especially attractive women, and their arses in particular, with Tino in tow. Tino, Stegs had to grudgingly admit, was a good-looking, if slightly vacant, young bloke but his dress sense wasn’t up to much. He was wearing a checked sports jacket with brown leather patches on the elbows which would have fitted in perfectly in an early 1980s Essex golf club, but which wasn’t exactly going to pull the punters in turn-of-the-century supposedly swinging London. He also had a rather unpleasant blue jeans and sandy-coloured cowboy boots combo à la Bon Jovi, which at least provided Stegs with a few laughs, as did Tino’s English – fluent enough, but delivered in a comedy Continental accent that veered between French, German, Italian and back again, complete with hackneyed medallion-man chat-up lines such as ‘You’re looking good, baby’ and ‘Man, nice tits.’ Still, this didn’t appear to put off the two local girls Tino and ‘Ass Lover’ got talking to in Hyde Park by the Serpentine. Both were young and pretty, and none too bright either, and when Ass Lover asked them to come back to his hotel room with him and Tino to do some modelling, both accepted eagerly, giving Tino admiring glances that looked worryingly genuine.

All laughs stopped, however, when, back in the hotel room, Tino produced his startlingly impressive ten-inch appendage and began to service the girls in a variety of positions and in places where, to put it bluntly, the sun don’t shine. In fact, Stegs was masturbating furiously and having a particularly enjoyable time of it, all thoughts of Tino’s clothes sense forgotten as the Dutch dickmaster got

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